Having children share a room is sometimes a necessity. Sometimes it just works better for the children involved to be together. There are pros and cons of having children share a room though. To help you weigh them out we found this article with more information. We hope it helps you make the best decision for your family!
So, To Share or Not to Share a Bedroom?
There is absolutely no right or wrong answer to this question. Each family is so different with many factors to consider, primarily age gap, but for OUR family, it???s not even a question.
For those of you feeling that comparison pull or that slight wondering if somehow your children will resent you for not giving them an option, know that for the last eighteen years, our children have shared a room by our choice and I don???t have one regret.
Benefits of Siblings Sharing a Bedroom
Siblings as Best Friends
We often get asked how our kids are so close and one of my number one indicators points back to them sharing a room. Since they???ve been little, we???ve instilled in them that their sibling are their best friends. Their siblings are the ones to turn to when life gets hard. Family will always be there for you, but friends come and go. It???s about elevating the covenant of family relationships no matter what happens.
Learning to Share
Somewhere along the line, parents have bought into the lie that kids must all have their own, cool things, and that we must load them up on gifts and more stuff to line their closets. Not true! When sharing a room, you learn to share nearly everything. It???s up to us as parents to train out of them the ???Me first??? mentality and there???s no quicker way than making them share a room.
When they were little, they all had 1-2 special toys or items that were there own, but the rest of the toys were for the family. Most gifts were ???For the Boys, or ???For the Girls.???
Problem Solving and Conflict Resolution
Sharing a room offers plenty of opportunity to learn to work together, solve problems and resolve conflict. Now trust me, this has both enormous benefits, as well as stressful moments. Life is not always, ???oh sure, I???ll pick up that shirt because it???s mine.??? As they got older, there were war zone moments, but we are committed to conflict resolution and understanding the power of an apology. Letting the sun set on your anger is not an option in our family and talking it through was a critical priority.
Downfalls of Sharing a Bedroom (and how we dealt with it)
Opposite Personalities
That would be our girls. At fourteen and ten, this is the most challenging time we???ve had with room sharing. Our eldest is a Type A, very orderly and organized young lady, where as our youngest is carefree and creative. Order is not her first priority, but with a sister that bosses you into submission, you can bet that she has learned to pick up her things. As a mom, it???s a blessing in disguise and while I need to train our 14 year old into approaching her sister with more grace and asking politely, instead of ordering, she???s developing discipline based on the role model of her oldest sister and that is a joy!
They Need Their Own Space
Again, our girls. It???s very important that each girl have their own personal space, (where as our boys did not care, so each situation is different.) We???ve identified areas for them to do this by giving each their own closet, dresser and ???creative??? space. They also have a wall to decorate. I step back from this ???creative??? process and while there are times, I try to steer our ten year old in a certain direction, she pretty much reminds me, ???Mom, you said I could do this how every I want.??? Zing! Yep, I did.
Age Gap
The biggest age gap we have is between the two girls and that just under four years. As one is a teen, that???s a challenge and I can understand how a large age gap might not work in one room.
Even though our boys are close in age, a downfall we did have in their teen years began when one child became more defiant towards me and made some poor choices. The older children should be modeling and helping the younger ones grow in maturity, so when that is the precedent, it truly affects everyone in the house, especially those with which he???s sharing a room.
Sharing a room is a great option and it???s been the best choice for our family, but it???s not for everyone.
No one understands your family dynamics better than you, and there may be circumstances that don???t lend itself towards sharing a room.
That is your decision to make, but never, ever, feel that by not giving your child their own room, you are somehow short changing them. You are giving them a gift and while they might not see it now, they will have fond memories later on of slumber parties that never stopped and stories to share for generations to come.
